If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm having to shit out rocks
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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