Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
