I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize