Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize