First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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