Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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