Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
