literally had 100 drinks last night.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
