I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
