Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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