don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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