all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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