im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm so fucking centered right now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
