Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
