Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
pray to the hookup gods
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
