I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
