great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
