; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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