i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
