i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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