Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
