I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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