idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize