I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
