If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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