my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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