I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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