you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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