Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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