I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize