Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
