HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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