bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
