My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize