Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
