so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
