the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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