come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
