I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
