so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
