i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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