fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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