fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
