every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
