I'm really into asian looking animals
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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