I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
