Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
