we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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