Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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