I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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