Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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