So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
