party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
