I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
