You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
