I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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