You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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