if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize