OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
