Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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