That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
