People in love make me want to vomit
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
