My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize