Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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