I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
