do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
